“Let the Words of My Mouth…”
Ramona Cramer Tucker wrote an article entitled, “Loose Lips” that was published in Christian Reader, a periodical published by Christianity Today. I’ve heard it said that a gossip is a person who knows how to turn an earful into a mouthful. It’s been called halitosis of the brain. Friendships have been destroyed by it; marriages disrupted by it; jobs terminated because of it. Wars have been ignited over gossip. I have often said that unless you are part of the solution – or part of the problem – or are personally involved in some way – it is gossip.
Job cried to his accusing comforters, “You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you! If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom” (Job 13:4-5, NIV). The wise man of Proverbs cautioned, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28, NIV). Jesus himself said, “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37, KJV).
In her article, Ramona Tucker related the following true account of an incident “When Gossip Destroyed Trust:”
“It happened over a diet Coke at my friend Ann’s house. As we both “tsk-tsked” about the escalating divorce rate, Ann, whose husband had left her four years earlier, commented, ‘I’m so sorry for the women behind the statistics. I know what it’s like to be alone and scared about what’s going to happen next.’
Just then, I thought about asking Ann to pray for Maris, a mutual friend who had just told me her marriage was in trouble. I rambled on with details of Maris’s marital woes. Ann hadn’t a clue our friend’s marriage was so deeply troubled. She felt terrible that Maris hadn’t told her about it.
After our conversation, I felt sick, but I pushed my feelings aside. However, as the days wore on, I realized——painfully——that I’d been wrong to share news that hadn’t been mine to share. Not only had I broken my struggling friend’s confidence, but I also had put Ann in the midst of a distressing situation.
I swallowed my pride and phoned Ann to apologize. Then, taking a deep breath, I phoned Maris and asked if I could come over. Before we even sat down, I blurted out in misery, ‘Maris, I blew it. Remember a month ago, when you shared with me how you and Mark were struggling in your marriage? Well, last week when Ann and I were talking, I told her about you and Mark. I had meant to talk in general terms, but then——well, your name slipped out.’
Maris’s jaw dropped. Her lips quivered. She got teary-eyed.
I plunged ahead. ‘I don’t know what to say. I wish I could take my words back, but I can’t. Can you ever forgive me?’
Maris sighed. ‘I wish you hadn’t said anything,’ she said slowly. ‘Having someone else know about it only makes it harder on me——and Mark. But you’re right. You can’t take your words back. I’ll phone Ann, so she knows you talked to me——and I’ll ask her to keep it confidential.’
Ouch. Although Maris and I had been friends for five years, I knew it would take a long time before she would trust me again.
‘Maris,’ I said, reaching over to hug her, ‘I’m really sorry. I promise I won’t share your confidences——or anyone else’s——in the future.’
‘Don’t promise what you can’t keep,’ Maris said softly, looking me straight in the eye. As soon as I got to my car, the tears flowed. I thought of Proverbs 15:2: ‘The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.’ I knew which one I represented.”
Given the opportunity to be wise or foolish – wisdom is always the better choice. Sometimes, though, we find ourselves guilty of “gushing folly.” We can repent. We can “make it right” with the brother or sister we’ve injured. And we can commit ourselves to David’s prayer, “Let the words of my mouth…be acceptable in Thy sight…”
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